🎯 Four Common Mistakes When Trying to Influence Others (and How to Avoid Them)

Influence isn't just for charismatic CEOs or TED Talk speakers. Whether you're leading a team, managing a project, or simply trying to get your colleague to update Jira properly (we've all been there), influence is a key skill.

According to Dr. Jay Conger, author of The Necessary Art of Persuasion, there are four common mistakes that people often make when attempting to persuade others. Let’s break them down—honestly, respectfully, and with a touch of fun.

📚 Source: The Necessary Art of Persuasion (PDF)

❌ 1. Attempting to Make the Case with a Hard Sell

"Trust me, this is the best idea. Let’s just do it!"

The problem? Coming in hot with a strong pitch and expecting others to be instantly on board usually backfires. It can feel pushy, rushed, and sometimes even manipulative.

The fix: Think of persuasion more like farming than hunting. Instead of going for the close right away, take the time to plant seeds—build trust, present data gradually, and allow people space to engage with your idea.

❌ 2. Resisting Compromise

"If we start changing the plan, we’ll lose control!"

The problem? Sticking rigidly to your vision makes others feel like their input doesn’t matter. Ironically, trying too hard to protect your idea can actually make it weaker—because it never evolves with feedback.

The fix: True influence involves co-creation. Invite input. Be open to adjustments. Compromise doesn’t mean surrendering; it means showing you're collaborative, adaptable, and trustworthy.

❌ 3. Thinking It’s All About Logic

"I’ve got the data, the charts, and a solid argument—how could they say no?"

The problem? People aren’t robots. You may be logically flawless, but if you don’t connect emotionally, the message won’t land. Humans need more than pie charts—they need to feel why it matters.

The fix: Pair logic with stories. Use data, yes—but also show the human impact. Connect on shared values, speak with sincerity, and remember: emotion is the bridge that logic walks across.

❌ 4. Assuming Persuasion Is a One-Time Effort

"I already presented my case in the meeting. Why aren’t things moving?"

The problem? Influence is rarely a “one-and-done” event. It’s a process, not a PowerPoint.

The fix: Follow up. Build momentum. Engage informally after meetings. Check in, show consistency, and be patient. Change happens over time—not just over slides.

✅ Final Thoughts

Influence is an art. And like any art, it takes patience, practice, and a willingness to learn from missteps. By avoiding these four common mistakes, you can build deeper trust, encourage collaboration, and actually get things done (without sounding like a motivational speaker on caffeine).

So next time you’re trying to win support—whether it’s a strategic pivot or just convincing the team to adopt a new tool—remember: slow down, listen more, and lead with empathy.

Reference: Dr. Jay Conger, The Necessary Art of Persuasion